A Dance of Generosity

Be For Giving and Forgiving

A few weeks back I wrote about how us human beings can be both Beauty and Beast. If you don’t want to go back and read it, I think the story is best summed up by the last sentence which is…

“I reckon that if my health remains good, my heart remains open, and my own healing remains an essential part of my life, I might live the rest of my days with a gratitude for everything, a generosity of support and service to others, and a grace that forgives those who choose not to reckon with the harm they have done onto others.”

Gratitude for everything? Really? Even for the shit, the beastly things that happen in life?

Yes, really. And I don’t know about you, but it is a daily practice that can be damn hard at times. Sometimes dancing ‘the shit’ doesn’t even get me close to feeling grateful for it, but at least I feel a bit more ease for having moved my body. Since I’m speaking of shit, I should mention that watching The History of Swear Words, always makes me feel ‘better’. 😝

A grace that forgives those who choose not to reckon with the harm they have done onto others? Seriously?

Yes, seriously and not so seriously. Sometimes when I’m challenged by this large lesson of life, all I can think of is this word. When I say it in a multitude of ways, it opens up a spaciousness for a sense of humor and grace to enter. I’m no Osho or Buddha or Mother Teresa, but my nature is to be forgiving and for giving. Which brings me to this part…

A generosity of support and service to others? Even when it’s been taken advantaged of or when I’ve been mansplained how I’m ‘giving to get something’?

Yes, even when I’ve been harmed, I haven’t regretted what I’ve given to others. I will continue to be for giving and forgiving. I will continue to be generous and keep my heart open even when there’s more of a protective circle of green (Mother Nature) and blue (the Pacific Ocean) that now surrounds and protects my most precious asset.

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Are you for giving to another because you want to be of support and service or are you giving to be something you’re not (or to get something)?

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The Dance of Generosity is typically one of giving and receiving. It’s not always equal which isn’t to say, “That’s not fair!” It’s just the nature of this dance sometimes. Some give more than others because they can and/or because they want to. Some receive more. There’s certainly a sweet spot when two people want to dance generously with one another - each supporting the other in the ways they can with the unique gifts they bring to the relationship. I’ve always enjoyed those literal dances when there’s an immediate palpable sense of energetic and physical connection between two dancers. To discover a natural rhythm together and fall into it with relative ease is so sweet. Ahhh…I miss those days on a dance floor and on the beach. I miss those kind of dances.

Together, my former husband and I had a Dance of Generosity for many years until the day the dance suddenly stopped and our mutual agreement of ‘us’ was obliterated. I no longer knew what foot went where, what steps to take, what to make of life without my dance partner. I am sad our dance ended in the tragic way it did and…I do not regret what I gave of myself in our marriage, during our separation, and through our divorce.

During the first few months of the pandemic, I was fortunate to find an online community of dancers led by a very enigmatic and skilled movement facilitator. The depth of care and presence was something I so needed at that time. I was grateful to be seen and heard and to dance with others on the screen. I wasn’t capable of giving much of anything back then because I was still in shock and grieving hard the shattering of my marriage, the loss of my home, and the uncertainty of so many things. When I arrived at a place in my own healing where I could give more of myself to others again, this facilitator and the group I belonged to seemed like a safe space to be generous. All was well for two years until it suddenly wasn’t and I was told my generosity was a means to get attention. I am sad that dance ended in the way it did and…I do not regret what I gave of myself to that friendship.

Most recently, I allowed a new friend of mine to rent my new/used car while the last four months of the lease on my other car came to an end. The agreement we made was broken by this person and I felt deeply betrayed. I am still in the process of getting my car fixed and doing what’s right for me (which was to file a small claims case). What began as a vulnerable and trusted dance between two massage school classmates became a horrid chase to reclaim my property and a hard realization that my generosity had been taken advantaged of. Interestingly, I am NOT sad this dance has ended and I DO regret what I gave to that friendship.

This gives me pause - not to consider whether or not I will continue to be generous, but to whom I’ll be generous with.

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I will continue to be generous to you, you being a reader of my words here. I’ll continue to be for giving and forgiving in all the ways I show up online and offline. I’ll be generous with my feelings and my vulnerable stories. I’ll be generous in sharing music, book excerpts, and embodied movement resources. I’ll be generous when the time comes to offer a paid subscriber option here.

How does this Dance of Generosity with you support me?

It supports me in being a writer who writes with an intention to be of service to others. It supports me in my own healing. It supports me in pursuing my dream of becoming a book author. Thank you.

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If this Dance of Generosity with me (being a subscriber to I Am The Dance) supports you in some way, that makes me smile knowing we’re in sweet harmony.

This is a personal fave of mine I used to play quite often at Beach Dance. Enjoy!