A Dance of Acceptance

Learning to Be With the Truth of What Is

‘Years’ by Michal Karcz

Last night, I paid attention to how the sound of the wind moved through my home, how it moved across my skin. I couldn’t stop the wind from blowing. I couldn’t direct its course. I could have closed the slats on the windows, but then I wouldn’t have appreciated the truth of how the cool-warm breeze kept me company.

Last night, as I got into bed and wondered when sleep might come, I imagined I could breathe underwater and fly like a bird. I became disheartened when I remembered I couldn’t do either of those things, but I was comforted briefly by the truth of having felt freedom accompanied with the impossible.

Last night, as I wrote in the early hours of the morn, the truth that tumbled out of my heart and onto the page reminded me I still have much traveling to do on the long road of letting go and accepting the truth of what is. When the cruel whisper of regret and failure appeared in my words at 3am, I asked my body to take care of my brain and so she returned me to bed and rocked me back to sleep.

Unsolvable distances. Safety harnesses severed. Long goodbyes never spoken.

The wind and the water and the birds are speaking to me.
Serenity. Courage. Wisdom.

I am learning to accept the things I cannot change.
I am learning to change the things I can.
I am learning the difference between the two.

A dance of years.